Applying Myself

Well, after thinking about it for a while, I finally did it. I applied for a job out of Arizona. I'm not sure what chance I have of getting it, but hey, it's worth a shot. I applied for a director job in Long Beach...it's still with Embry-Riddle but a step up. I figured I may as well go for it. If I want to move, then perhaps I should do something about. There's a couple of jobs in San Diego that I want to apply for as well. It's time I start making the steps to something that I want to do. It's not going to happen on its own. As soon as I clicked "submit" on the application, I thought "what the hell did I just do?" It freaked me out. I didn't think I would ever do it. Not that I got the job, or anything has happened yet but it scared me. I'm horribly unprepared if anything does come of it. I have no money in savings, I have no available credit...so what the hell am I going to do if I get a job in California?? I'm screwed unless the company pays for me to go...which I know Embry-Riddle doesn't do. But I guess I shouldn't worry about that until something happens...or I apply for more than just the Embry-Riddle job.

I was talking to my boss at lunch a couple of weeks ago...we were talking about how we don't want to stay with Embry-Riddle forever. So he asked me where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do. And it was through this conversation that we realized...I like comfort. I'm comfortable in Tucson, I've been here for 11 years. That's why I have such a hard time deciding what I want to do...because I don't want the change, because it means I'll be uncomfortable. Why do you think I got back with Jeremy 3 times? Because it was comfortable. Why do you think I still hang out with Chad? Because it's comfortable. Why do you think I've never tried leaving Tucson before? Because it's comfortable. I need to just face the fear of the unknown and try to make some changes in my life. Yes, it's scary to just move to a new place, start a new job, not know anyone...but if it's something I want to do, why can't I just do it? People do it all the time. Jay did it, Wendy did it, Melissa did it, Christine did it...why can't I do it? I always have an excuse not to do it...and it always involves money. But I'm hoping that if a move should work out, that someone will be able to help me.

So what I need to do, is just apply for the 2 jobs in San Diego that I want to apply for. It can't hurt right? The worst they could say is no...and I keep looking. I think I've decided that California is where I want to go. I thought about Seattle...but it's cold there...it snows. But California is good...a great way to just start over. It's not like I have much keeping me here...a few select friends and family...but it's not like I have boyfriend/husband or kids of my own to worry about...it's just me...so now is the time to start considering it...while there's nothing really holding me back...