If At First You Don't Succeed...

So now that my funk is over, I can somewhat clearly decide what I'm doing. Things weren't going well last week...I had pretty much given up on everything...I was sad, I was angry, and I was just done. Nothing seemed to be going my way...which shouldn't be unusual for me. But I just didn't know how to deal with it.

I'm not sure what changed but I've snapped out of it. I decided to sign up for Match again. I can't sit around and complain that I don't have anyone if I'm not gonna try. Yes, I've heard countless times "you'll find someone when you're not looking." But there has to be some kind of effort on my part. I'm tired of being alone. So here we go again. And if I meet someone, I'm not telling anyone until I'm sure! I just feel that I jinx it whenever I mention it. So I'm just not going to talk about it.

As for the job front...so I didn't get the director job in Long Beach. Again, I shouldn't be surprised. I'm not going to sit here and get all pissed off...I didn't really think I had much of a chance anyway. All I can do is keep looking, and if something comes along, then it's meant to be. If not, I'll make the most of the job that I have...that's really all I can do.

I read Brian's blog...and he said something that I'm trying to live by...everything happens for a reason. Yes, it takes time to figure out what that reason is...but once you figure it out, you realize it was meant to be all along. So I'm waiting...I'm waiting to figure out what the reason is that things haven't been going my way. I hope to find out soon...but if not, I'm used to waiting. I remember waiting to figure out why Jeremy and I broke up for the final time...and then I realized it was so I could live on my own...to realize that I could do it. And then it all made sense. It'll make sense one day...and then I'll wait until the next time. It's a vicious cycle, but it's part of life...it makes us who we are...it just takes time to figure out who that is.