What I've Been Up To

So I haven't written a blog for a while. I've been busy trying to get back into a normal routine. I went to San Diego for a week a couple of weeks ago. It was by far one of the best vacations I've been on. It was relaxing and chill. There were no real plans, except for Sea World. We spent most of the days on the beach and it was great. Sure, June gloom prevented the sun from coming out until the afternoon but I still managed to catch some rays and I came back with a pretty good tan (which has peeled off a little). The girls were entertaining to watch, they did their own thing...dug holes in the sand, found seashells, played with their dad in the water, ran from the waves. I haven't been that relaxed in a long time. We had a pretty sweet condo on the beach and it was nice to hear the waves crashing at night while I was trying to sleep. I spent some good quality time with my nieces and my brother-in-law and sister. I took some good pictures, until my camera got some sand in it. I won't go into details, because I'm sure you don't want to hear a play by play. But let's just say, it made me realize how much I want to live in San Diego. I could see myself living there. I could see myself hanging out downtown, I could see myself hanging out on the beach, I could see myself just being happy there. The whole city seems so laid back, and that's what I want. I don't know how I'm going to get there but I know that I need to do it. And sooner, not later (well, once my lease is up here). I even looked at apartments online just to get an idea of what I was in for...and they aren't too pricey. I want it, I want it bad.

It would be the perfect fresh start for me. I've done what I can do in Tucson and I think it's time for me to move on. But I'm afraid that I'm going to say that I want to move and then end up staying. And I don't want to do that. I think that moving to San Diego is exactly what I need. I always run the risk of running into someone Jeremy related, and I don't want to see them. They're not a part of my life anymore, and really, the only way to get away from it, is to leave. And I think I've reached my career opportunities here...because there aren't anyway. I would have more options in San Diego. I have a Master's degree, and I'm not really using it. Although I don't know how to use it. I'd be able to start over...no one knows me, no one knows my family...and that's important to me. I want to be a new person...but yet the same person that my friends and family know and love. And who knows, maybe I'll meet "the one." But that's not the reason I would move. I would move to be happy. Not that I'm not happy here, but I know that I could be happier there. It's my happy place and it sucked having to come back.

I've reached the conclusion that I'm not going to go out of my way to date anymore. It's exhausting and I really don't care. My life is what I want it to be, and I don't need a guy to make things complete. I don't know how or why I realized it but there it is. Maybe I'm meant to be single forever...which really, at this point, with everyone getting divorced, why would I want to get married?

So, I've been spending time with my family on the weekends and spending some quality time by myself during the week. And I'm perfectly content doing so. I know it's not much of an update, but I'm tired!