One Of Those Days

So today was one of those days...it wasn't a bad day by any means...just one of those days. A day where I questioned what I'm doing with my life, where my someone is, what I want to be when I grow up. And what's the conclusion that I came to...I don't know. I still don't know. And I'm not sure I'll ever know. I know there's some things in my life I need to fix, like my credit...but who doesn't? I need to step up and take care of it...get that accomplished. So that I can do what? I don't know. That seems to always be the answer that I come to...I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Oh, and did I mention that I don't know?

Let me say that I'm not unhappy...I'm not depressed...I'm just stuck. I've been doing the same job for 5 years and I've pretty much done all I can do. But I don't know what else I want to do. I'm obviously not meeting guys. I was talking to one, it seemed like it was going well...and then BAM...no contact. Again. And it sucks. It makes me wonder again what's wrong with me. I didn't even get a chance to meet this guy...he just stopped being interested over a few text messages...how does that happen? I mean seriously. What do I say? It's just a normal conversation. I do the same thing every day when I come home from work. But at the same time, I don't know how to change it. How do I break the habit of complacency?

I'm at the point in my life where I could do anything, go anywhere...and I don't know how. Granted, I don't have the financial means to go anywhere and do anything but I could...if I just knew where or what that was. I hate days like this...I should be proud of what I've done with my life...and most days I am...but not today. I hate letting a guy that I've never met make me sad. I hate letting the stupid things make me sad. My life is good...I have great friends, great family, a great apartment...so why do I have days like this? Monica called it my 30 year crisis...and it is. Everyone goes through one...and it's not a bad thing...I'm just tired of going through it.

So yet again, I let rejection affect me. I wish I could just let it roll of my back but every time, it seems to hurt a little more. It sucks.