My Feelings About 2011

It's 2012...which means 2011 is over. It was a good year, and a bad year. Let me reflect. It definitely didn't go the way I had thought it was going to go...but I can't complain too much about the first 8 months of it.

Sean entered my life in January. When he first came into the office before class, I never expected we would end up where we are...but that's a good thing. Things just kind of blossomed and took their course. Looking back, I can't believe it's almost been a year since we started "talking." It was definitely one of the best months of the year...followed by February when we made it official with the label of boyfriend/girlfriend.

March and April were pretty good months too. Not a lot happened...just got to know Sean better, turned 31, celebrated Monica's birthday. Sean met my mom at the end of April...and my dad for a brief few minutes. Pretty laid back.

May was kind of a big month for me. That's when I met Sean's son. I was nervous as hell...it was a big deal. It went really well and we got along great. Carter left for Michigan at the end of May, so that gave Sean and I more time together...to get closer and to get to know each other even more.

June was the Rod/Stutzman/Wakeman vacation to Disneyland. My nieces adore Sean and we all had so much fun. We stayed in an awesome condo in Dana Point...had beach days and days at Disneyland. It was so relaxing. We surprised the girls with Disneyland, they thought we were only going to the beach and Hollywood (Hollywood was the cover-up for Disneyland).

July was my first trip to Michigan to meet Sean's family before he deployed...and to see Carter for his last week in Michigan. I had a great time despite the fact that I was in Michigan. Sean's family was great, very welcoming. I definitely feel like a part of their family. When we got back from Michigan, we went to a Diamondbacks game. It was Carter's first major league game and we surprised him with awesome seats. He even got some autographs. Coming back was bittersweet because it meant that it was closer to Sean's deployment. We spent as much time as we could together before he left.

August-December pretty much sucked. Sean left at the beginning of August, so we missed all of our first holidays together...and it was extremely difficult for both of us. I had good times during these months, just doing my happy hours and hanging out up in Mesa with my sister and her family...they were all good distractions.

I've learned this year that I'm stronger than I thought I was. I may have chosen to hide from the world a few times but all in all, I think I did pretty well during the deployment. I also learned this year that I can be loved and I can be treated the way I deserve to be treated. I never thought I would find my someone, but I know that I definitely did. I also learned that sometimes, I can't help myself so I need someone else to help me. I've taken steps to fix things in my life that I know I cannot fix without help. It's a hard pill to swallow but it's easier to do that than to drive yourself crazy.

And in a month and a half, Sean will be home...and we can get to know each other again and start our life together. I can't wait for the day he gets home...to just be in his arms and to have him here. And then comes the figuring out of everything...it's going to be an adjustment that's for sure...but worth it because at least he'll be home.

So adios 2011...at least the first part of the year didn't suck. And here's to 2012...the start of a new chapter...